Category: Life Lessons

Imposter Syndrome seems to impact the smartest and most accomplished people I know. Discover the secrets to overcoming feelings of professional inadequacy.

Are You Tired of Feeling Like a Fraud? Here Are the Secrets to Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Nicholas Porter

Do you enjoy feeling like a failure? Yeah, I didn’t think so. But here’s the thing 一 you’re not alone. This phenomenon has been studied extensively. It’s called imposter syndrome. I’ll let Harvard Business Review take it from here: 

Imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters’ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence. They seem unable to internalize their accomplishments, however successful they are in their field. High achieving, highly successful people often suffer, so imposter syndrome doesn’t equate with low self-esteem or a lack of self-confidence.

Feelings of inadequacy seem to impact the smartest and most accomplished people I know. In some cases, it has even made these individuals question if they should change careers. They simply cannot shake a nagging feeling that they will eventually be “discovered” as frauds.

I recently attended a workshop on the topic hosted by Micha Goebig. Take a look at the following statements from her presentation. Have you ever had these thoughts? 

  • “I just got lucky.”
  • “I’m good at being in the right place at the right time.”
  • “They will soon see that I’m a fraud.”
  • “They made a mistake hiring me.”
  • “They have low standards.”
  • “It is because they like me.”
  • “I have had a lot of help and have connections.”

“Okay, maybe I’ve had some of those thoughts,” you say. “But you don’t know me!” Yeah, about that. Have a look at the infographic below. I bet you will find yourself.  

Imposter Syndrome seems to impact the smartest and most accomplished people I know. Discover the secrets to overcoming feelings of professional inadequacy.
Information sourced from Micha Goebig of Go Big Coaching and Fast Company.

Here is What You Can Do About It

Are you finished freaking out? Good. Because not all hope is lost! According to Goebig, there are several steps you can take to overcome feelings brought on by imposter syndrome. 

Break the Silence
Sometimes it only takes one conversation with someone you trust. Talk to someone about how you feel. You will likely discover the same person you confide in is experiencing the same emotions. 

Separate Feelings From Facts
Take a hard look at your accomplishments. Ignore how you might “feel” about them. Instead, look at them with pure objectivity. Through this lens, you will likely see a pattern. It was you who earned that degree. You who secured that job. You who closed that deal or finished that project. Start believing the facts right in front of you!

Recognize Your Expertise and Abilities
Ask people you trust what they think of you. Yes, this will require courage! Those closest to you will care enough to tell the truth. Ask them how they view your skills and abilities. Now, take that feedback and create a resume or LinkedIn profile for the person they described. The final step in this process? Realize that profile is of you! 

Develop a New Response To Failure
There are two responses one can have to failure. You can either let it hold you back or turn it into a learning experience and an opportunity to improve. Consider those you know who seem to bounce back from almost anything. Take their cues and integrate them into your routine. Finally, realize that failure rarely results in the catastrophic results the mind tends to conjure.

Reward Yourself
Don’t ignore your accomplishments! Enjoy a meal at your favorite restaurant. Purchase that item of clothing you’ve been eyeing. Take that vacation. The key here is to acknowledge that the activity is a reward for your achievements. Otherwise, you risk feeling guilty about your indulgences and or might put them off altogether. 

How do you deal with imposter syndrome?

Thinking About a Career Change? Here’s The Secret To Knowing If You Are Ready

Nicholas Porter

Earlier this year I attended a workshop hosted by Career and Personal Branding Consultant Joseph Liu.

The presentation focused on helping participants realize what it takes to truly align your ambitions and personal values with your work to achieve happiness and fulfillment. The theme of the session was “career reinvention” and it delivered a realistic picture of what it takes to reach that goal. The session’s highlight was undoubtedly Liu’s walk-through of his patented “7 Stages of Career Change Roadmap.”

After coaching and speaking with hundreds of professionals navigating career change, Liu began to recognize certain patterns emerging among those who had successfully reinvented their careers. For those seeking reinvention, the roadmap provides clarity when sorting out the confusing emotions associated with unfulfillment and longing for change. Coincidentally, it also bears a striking resemblance to Kübler-Ross’ five stages of grief. I’ve summarized it below:

  • (0) Status Quo – Individuals at this stage enjoy their jobs just enough. Their gigs don’t inspire true happiness, but it pays the bills and is tolerable.
  •  (1) Doubt – At this stage, lingering doubt begins. You often find yourself sitting in meetings and zoning out. You begin to wonder if this job is right for you. You conclude that you don’t actually like your job.
  • (2) Dismay – Here is where doubt leads to dismay. You realize you don’t enjoy your career at all — even if you were to switch to another position within your organization or perform the same role at another company.
  • (3) Mitigation – According to Liu, this is where people tend to get stuck. They tell themselves, “I am going to try and fix this,” because mustering the strength to enact true change in their lives is not easy. Another way this might manifest is by trying to do what you love on nights and on weekends. (Also, LOL.) This strategy rarely leads to success because you can only fool yourself for so long.
  • (4) Exhaustion – At this stage, you feel stuck. You have run out of energy trying to make your mitigation plan work. Most of your weekend is spent recuperating from the week prior. You are not living your best life.
  • (5) Departure – The exhaustion gets so bad, you finally leave your job. You resign, even if another job isn’t lined up. You take a break. You need time for yourself to get away from it all.
  • (6) Reflection – You have left your job. You take some time off or take a lower intensity gig. The reason being, you need some time and space to think about what your next step is. This time is important because it gives you the clarity to figure out what your next move is.
  • (7) Relaunch – This is your moment. As Liu says, this is where you say, “I’m going to give this thing a shot.” You’re determined to make a change and fully realize you owe it to yourself.

Mind-blowing stuff, right? I’m sure many folks reading this can pinpoint exactly where they currently fall on the roadmap in about two seconds flat.

Identifying where you are on the roadmap is only the beginning. According to Liu, the next step is to make a move in the direction you know you want to take your career. It could be taking a class, attending a networking event or talking with someone who works in an industry that interests you. And, taking even the smallest step is better than standing completely still.

So, what do you think? Where do you fall on the roadmap?

Navigating Constructive Criticism: 5 Tips For Managers Who Deliver Feedback

Nicholas Porter

Who loves performance reviews? Spontaneous feedback? Subtle criticism?  Yeah. Nobody does. Especially managers.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Modern managers worth their salt undoubtedly understand the importance of delivering constructive criticism and feedback. They recognize it is essential for learning and growth, as well as advancement in their employees’ careers.  But there is an art to delivering it — and lots to consider before putting that meeting invite on your employee’s calendar.

With all this in mind, I recently attended a workshop dedicated to the topic. Titled, ‘The Art of Constructive Criticism,” the session was led by conflict management expert Amanda Dean of Crux Consulting. Anyone second-guessing the value of this 3-hour workshop should take pause right now and consider the following stat Amanda provided at the start session:

“Studies show that managers spend between 3 and 8 hours a week dealing with conflict and most of that conflict is ongoing or persistent.”

 

The collective brain of my readers upon digesting that statistic.

Sadly, to many in management, this is all too familiar. The biggest takeaway of the session for me was a clear understanding of what is known as the “W-5” method.  Because in addition to helping individuals navigate the tricky minefield of delivering constructive criticism and feedback, the W-5 method challenges managers and encourages them to look inward prior to doling out feedback to members of their team. 

The “W-5” Method for Managers
In a nutshell, the W-5 method is a self-test for managers to administor prior to any instance where they deliver constructive criticism or feedback to a direct report. See below:

  • WHO – Who Is the Person To Whom You Are Delivering Feedback?
    • Questions to consider:
      • At what point in their career is this individual?  
      • Who needs to be in the room while this feedback is delivered?  
      • What style of feedback delivery do you believe will be most effective based on your understanding of/relationship with the individual?
  • WHEN – When Will The Recipient Be Most Receptive?
    • Questions to consider:
      • When will the individual be most receptive?
      • At what point during the day do they tend to operate at peak attentiveness?
      • How immediate/important is the feedback you have to deliver?
  • WHERE – Where Will You Deliver The Feedback?
    • Questions to consider:
      • Where will you deliver the feedback?
      • Hint: Not in a room full of people. Not in the office kitchen. Not in public. Not on a large email with peers copied. Find a conference room or hold the feedback meeting in your office. Remember — treat people the way you would like to be treated.
  • WHAT – What Exactly Do You Need To Say? 
    • Questions to consider:
      • What main points do I want to get across?
      • Hint: Prepare a concise list of the top three points you would like to make sure are addressed in a feedback session. By setting a limit, you are forced to focus on only the most important points. 
  • WHY – Why Are You Providing This Feedback?
    • Questions to consider:
      • What do you hope to gain from delivering this feedback?
      • Hint: Ideally, you are delivering feedback because you are seeking to align expectations and make sure you are both on the same page when it comes to achieving goals.

Not only is the W-5 self-test useful in a professional setting, it is also perfect when gearing up for difficult conversations in your personal life. The reason for this is simple — the W-5 method helps you first get to the root of an issue and then provides guidance on how to successfully manage a conversation around it from start to finish

Additional Observations
Lots of additional ground was covered during the workshop. Here are some of what I found to be the most interesting nuggets from the session. (Several have already been in my arsenal for quite some time.) Hopefully, you will find them equally useful. 

  • Remind your employees regularly they must “speak their need” and never hesitate to ask for guidance, support, assistance in removing roadblocks, etc. If they don’t state a need, it makes it extremely difficult for you to know what they require to move things forward.
  • Sometimes it is difficult to move past an issue with a specific individual, especially if you need to continue working with them after an incident. The solution? Consider how you may be able to shift your expectations. Ask yourself, “How can I adjust my approach with this person in order to achieve team goals?”
  • Don’t make an issue with one of your employees your manager’s problem by dumping it on their desk. Instead, develop a plan to consult with them regarding it.  Come to the table with proactive solutions and an intent to seek advice and consensus. Anything less and you risk appearing both incapable of performing your duties as a manager and appearing problematic yourself.
  • Ask an individual who you are planning to give feedback when they have time to talk. Once that time is established, along with a calendar invite, send a quick agenda so there is an expectation of what will be discussed. This helps “prep” people emotionally in advance of potentially difficult conversations.